Overwhelming sense of ICK

[eregyrn]

Man. I am in a spectacularly BAD mood, and I have no idea why. I'm in A FUNK, and there's no reason for it, and that makes me nuts.

No, it's not hormones. No, wise-ass, it's not because the NHL season was officially cancelled yesterday. (Though, still: grrr.) Work was stressful *last* week (I had the requisite Huge Anxiety Dream last night about the Big Event that actually went perfectly well *last* weekend; but that's normal), this week is fine. Yeah, I officially wrote my teacher yesterday and quit hula, and yeah, one of my friends from the class is having a hard time letting me do that, and yeah, that's kind of hitting me with some self-esteem issues, but I'd worked through all that, or I thought I did.

It's a long weekend. I wrote 3,000 words last night. I have a cute little new/used laptop to play with. I found an outfit for this upcoming wedding that I think will work okay. For said wedding, I get to go to England ("get to" meaning of course, "get to pay to", but still), and even though that's a lot of planning, it's still something fun to look forward to. Folks have been posting all kinds of good birthday-fics on LJ and even if many of them aren't within my sphere of interest (cause, duh, they're within the sphere of interest of those whose birthdays it *is*), it's still nice, and some wind up hitting me in exactly the right place, like Otter's "Post Hoc". I really need to find or make some new SG icons (but typically, I don't know what I *want*). I get to see friends tonight whom I missed seeing last week, and the SG episode is supposed to be pretty good, or at least funny (if I can get in the right mood for it).

Why should I be sitting here, feeling all hollow and anxious and unhappy and near tears? I'm serious. It doesn't make any *sense*. Nor is it appropriate for a workday, frankly. Bleah. I don't get it, and I don't like it.

Comments

[tafkarfanfic.livejournal.com]

*makes big eyes at you*

You wrote? Wanna see...

I wish I were there to give you hugs, or take you to Burdick's for cocoa.

[eregyrn.livejournal.com]

Awww. I wish you were here, too, except of course if you were, then you'd be stuck *HERE*, rather than being in lovely CA with Boy and Exciting Stuff (and getting to go to Escapade, am all jealous, etc.).

I don't know if this mood is extra making me miss People, too, or whether missing People is contributing to the mood.

You wrote? Wanna see...

... Yeah, thing is, I don't know. This is another area of an apparently contradictory swirl of emotions. (I wrote, I accomplished something, for its small audience it seems to be okay) versus (god, I'm a hack) And *this* (LJ), this isn't a stage I've gone out on, and I don't know if I have enough faith in myself to step onto it, given the company I keep.

[okojosan.livejournal.com]

Bah, you were always one of my favorite writers in Logres! Reading one of your stories was always a treat, and you were the only Logres writer who made me cry.

I want to see what you wrote, too!

As for the bad mood, I'm sorry. :( Not sure what else to say... I've been like that for most of a year.