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Overwhelming sense of ICK
Man. I am in a spectacularly BAD mood, and I have no idea why. I'm in A FUNK, and there's no reason for it, and that makes me nuts.
No, it's not hormones. No, wise-ass, it's not because the NHL season was officially cancelled yesterday. (Though, still: grrr.) Work was stressful *last* week (I had the requisite Huge Anxiety Dream last night about the Big Event that actually went perfectly well *last* weekend; but that's normal), this week is fine. Yeah, I officially wrote my teacher yesterday and quit hula, and yeah, one of my friends from the class is having a hard time letting me do that, and yeah, that's kind of hitting me with some self-esteem issues, but I'd worked through all that, or I thought I did.
It's a long weekend. I wrote 3,000 words last night. I have a cute little new/used laptop to play with. I found an outfit for this upcoming wedding that I think will work okay. For said wedding, I get to go to England ("get to" meaning of course, "get to pay to", but still), and even though that's a lot of planning, it's still something fun to look forward to. Folks have been posting all kinds of good birthday-fics on LJ and even if many of them aren't within my sphere of interest (cause, duh, they're within the sphere of interest of those whose birthdays it *is*), it's still nice, and some wind up hitting me in exactly the right place, like Otter's "Post Hoc". I really need to find or make some new SG icons (but typically, I don't know what I *want*). I get to see friends tonight whom I missed seeing last week, and the SG episode is supposed to be pretty good, or at least funny (if I can get in the right mood for it).
Why should I be sitting here, feeling all hollow and anxious and unhappy and near tears? I'm serious. It doesn't make any *sense*. Nor is it appropriate for a workday, frankly. Bleah. I don't get it, and I don't like it.
No, it's not hormones. No, wise-ass, it's not because the NHL season was officially cancelled yesterday. (Though, still: grrr.) Work was stressful *last* week (I had the requisite Huge Anxiety Dream last night about the Big Event that actually went perfectly well *last* weekend; but that's normal), this week is fine. Yeah, I officially wrote my teacher yesterday and quit hula, and yeah, one of my friends from the class is having a hard time letting me do that, and yeah, that's kind of hitting me with some self-esteem issues, but I'd worked through all that, or I thought I did.
It's a long weekend. I wrote 3,000 words last night. I have a cute little new/used laptop to play with. I found an outfit for this upcoming wedding that I think will work okay. For said wedding, I get to go to England ("get to" meaning of course, "get to pay to", but still), and even though that's a lot of planning, it's still something fun to look forward to. Folks have been posting all kinds of good birthday-fics on LJ and even if many of them aren't within my sphere of interest (cause, duh, they're within the sphere of interest of those whose birthdays it *is*), it's still nice, and some wind up hitting me in exactly the right place, like Otter's "Post Hoc". I really need to find or make some new SG icons (but typically, I don't know what I *want*). I get to see friends tonight whom I missed seeing last week, and the SG episode is supposed to be pretty good, or at least funny (if I can get in the right mood for it).
Why should I be sitting here, feeling all hollow and anxious and unhappy and near tears? I'm serious. It doesn't make any *sense*. Nor is it appropriate for a workday, frankly. Bleah. I don't get it, and I don't like it.
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You wrote? Wanna see...
I wish I were there to give you hugs, or take you to Burdick's for cocoa.
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i hope that scifi friday helps the mood to dissipate, and good news that the writing went well. enjoy the laptop too. oh, i just thought of this...every time i get a new laptop i end up having buyer's anxiety. not the same as buyer's remorse, just anxiety and a related itch until i get settled in with it.
{{{hugs}}}